I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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