okay pat passed out under dana's car
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
