Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
