did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
