his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
