Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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