There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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