what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
