i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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