i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
