I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize