I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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