you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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