If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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