there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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