My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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