I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
