I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
