i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
