i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
