Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
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Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
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I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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