Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
