Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
