The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
