We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
