i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Randomize