problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
