your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
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A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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