dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
