is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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