Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
