Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
