I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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