yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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