Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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