My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
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