he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
