I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
