I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
