I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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