A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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