Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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