sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
