Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need water and some morals
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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