I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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