Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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