So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
