i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
