just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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