Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
