In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
