He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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