I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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