I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize