she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
