is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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