So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
