you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
