Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
