it wasn't lemon gatorade
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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