she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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