wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
