Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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