i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
