It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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